y mas y mas

i emailed photos to ben, and received more in return... oh i love couchsurfing...

with aforementioned ben


in the hut


out of the hut


this is where i call you from 87% of the time


aaaaaaaand i miss you.

"Do you want to be my friend who knows everything?"

a chronological photo display of fun and at times uproarous events during the previous few weeks:

(the photos may come out a bit small. just click on them to see them close-up, and how horse-like i am when i smile).

Spurs Mania:

what does a girl have to do for a little spurs game up in this piece?


Let's Run Around a Mountain:

the start of rudy's race along the edge of mount tam, north of sf


post-run, along the streets in my neighborhood: he bought all this crap at 2 of 78 street sales.


and i heart him. HEART. HIIIIM.


Sue's Birthday Extravaganza:

at stacey's cousin sue's bday party in palo alto.


stacey and sue (who is LOVE-ly. she is also the woman who hooked us up with the free clothes a while back).


A Tour of the Mission District:

my "new" housemate, eric, and a couchsurfer from pittsburgh (ben). the structure of the flowers really were baffling.


inside the Mission Dolores cemetary (where "Vertigo" was filmed)


inside the fish-tank theatre


hairless cats are grooooooss.


The Inaugural BBQ on Roof (and My Housemates are Fan-Tas-Tic:

dave (housemate) and the grill. dave grills up delicious meats, and is freaking witty con-stan-tly.


eric has to earn his keep. (nate the older and wiser housemate on the left).


the housemates who hate each other, love each other. (NOTE: this is only 1/4 of my roof!ajgkjafvffgu!!!)


where in the hell is nate.


One Day We Will Own This Town:

with stacey, my san francisco heart.


rudy is apparently the man


he thinks i'm funny. i really thinks i'm funny!! *girl voice*


* * *

love you guys. this best turn out because i just spent 2.3 years posting this mess.

and have i told you that i missed you lately?

on the prison system

i would like to emphasize the following points regarding my political, and general how-human-beings-should-be-treated, points of view:

1. i never want to work in a prison
2. in fact, i think the prison system is crap
3. which is why one of my jobs works 100% AGAINST prisons
4. "learning to work a gun" is neither an "incentive" to work somewhere, nor is it something that any human being should know how to do.

this is a fantastically wierd topic, yes yes i know. but my mother called me this morning to tell me that i should seek employment in a "federal penitentiary." oh. that's right. you read it correctly.

credit union disaster relief: a site visit

photos from the credit union/americorps job...

the ceo of the adult credit union, salvador (from el salvador). one of my 14 bosses, but the one that's around the most. he saved the adult credit union from utter disaster about 10 years ago: he's a pretty incredible guy.


mi.


the view from my office


angelica, viria and jessica: the tellers at the adult credit union. (angelica and viria are both prego: tiny babies everywhere soon!!)


she's got some good genes.


have another roll coming. ho-ray! hope all is well out there...

folsom & juniper

hello to everyone. and by everyone, i mean everyone.

i tried to "do nothing" for the previous few days, and was only mildly successful. saturday was a freaking avalanche of kids from the area (and a couchsurfer from pittsburgh named ben) invading my house and itinerary. which was fine. actually it was a really good time. i have "re-met" The Tyson (who is "totally awesome"), rudy showed his face and i took eric (new housemate) and ben on a tour of my neighborhood.

i also watched "breakfast at tiffany's" and hitchcock's "birds." both are awesome. "vertigo" is next on the list, being the cemetary scenes were filmed at a church a block from my house. this was new discovery about sf number 7,284.

yesterday was a sad, sad day. i skipped work in the afternoon, went to a bar (for i do not have cable) and proceeded to get sloppy drunk (sorry, grandpa/mom) as i watched the spurs come outta nowhere to lose the game. i also spilled a huge drink on the fanciest person in the bar after the second three-pointer in the fourth quarter, which was awesome. but i was alone in my sorrow. apparently, i am the only person in the city who is from san antonio.

i love my new job, but my old one conjurs DEPRESSION as i walk to it each day. i'm serious. it's bad. but i've been listening to a lot of old-timey-jazz music (de eric: The Man Who Knows Everything About Jazz) - and it's kept me in good spirits during my 4 hour periods of credit union disaster relief.

this city is increasingly fantastic. just chatted with guy who designs cars for scion in a cafe. freaking awesome. everyone here has so much shit going on in their lives. how will i ever deal with boredom again? it's a serious concern of mine actually - which is why i will be pulling myself away from society for a few days to read, paint and read some more. or maybe paint some more.

this time last year i was planting lettuce, putting up rabbit proof fences and hanging out with quintessential british farmers who looked/talked/acted like the farmer on "Babe." and i miss it.

and i miss you too. i can't wait to see my grandparents, will, laura and samatha oh so very soon. (and leonard if i'm lucky).

hope new transitions are going well - love you a lot - and by everyone, i mean everyone.

jen

stop thinking in dualities.

hello dearies,

he liiiiivved! i watched 'l.a. confidential' last night - and can't stop talking about it. granted, it's a bit cheezy - but that what makes a film an EPIC. man, i really like that mooooovie. and i'm really glad (you know who i'm talking about) didn't die.

below are the lyrics from "love is like a bottle of gin" by magnetic fields. i appreciate lyrics en songs less and less as i get older (not sure why), but these did me in, goooood:

It makes you blind, it does you in
It makes you think you're pretty tough
It makes you prone to crime and sin
It makes you say thing off the cuff
It's very small and made of glass
and grossly over-advertised
It turns a genius into an ass
and makes a fool think he is wise
It could make you regret your birth
or turn cartwheels in your best suit
It costs a lot more than it's worth
and yet there is no substitute
They keep it on a higher shelf
the older and more pure it grows
It has no color in itself
but it can make you see rainbows
You can find it at the Bowery
or you can find it at Elaine's
It makes your words more flowery
It makes the sun shine, makes it rain
You just get what they put in
and they never put in enough
Love is like a bottle of gin
but a bottle of gin is not like love

real simple, but real pretty. and SMART.

* * *

i'm feeling a little less topsy-turvy about the previous entry content, due to time and tiny details coming together - slowly but surely. and this crazy sense of trust in time, et. al. that i've got goin' on.

* * *

i'm fairly certain i'll be applying to grad school this fall (though i can't promise anything). i'm thinking that i'm going to avoid most things strictly involving social sciences... history, writing, journalism, law. i need something more technical, more mathematical, and i don't want to do something that i'm super super passionate about - because odds are, i'll end up abhoring my hobbies. (i can always learn about previous topics on my own, and have been doing a damn fine job so far).


NOTE: I told my housemate last night that i'malookin at: urban planning, geography (with a much larger GIS emphasis) or a sub-discipline of architecture. but really this is just heresay. i don't know what i'm talking about here. really i'm apparently goal-less, and loooove floating around all the time.

anyway this is all very, very boring. disculpame.

i'm hoping that my weekend only involves books and beer, because frankly i can't take a hectic, how-is-this-happening-to-me weekend again. i've had about 89 in a row. i am sleepy. and old. ha - and grumpy, apparently.

lets all cross our fingers in hope that these entries will veer towards the un-boring, un-career-related, un-diary-esque. i much prefer the tales of adventure, dismay and occasional dumb luck. surely you do too.

i promise i know what heresay is now, even though the above demonstration wasn't quite right, with exact quotes, etc. le sigh.

love you kids,

jen

my back is on fire my back is on fire

what up.

weekend was wierd. wwiiiiieerd. constant events, but none if seemed to "flow," if that makes sense - outside of hanging out with rudy. oh how great that boy eeees. and talking to mom and grandma - that was super, super nice as well - oh and diane and paul! oh and di and paul.

* * *

i've been doing a lot of pondering life lately, and by "pondering life" i mean wondering what in the world will be happening to me in august/september. it may seem that i've been running amuck with my life during the previous year or so, but i always had a dime or two in my pocket, and usually a place to sleep. these two things are comforting, to say the very least. but all that may change in a few months, and the potential lack of financial and safe slumber stability is worrisome. but perhaps i'm being too dramatic. hopefully all will work out. but i can't helping tensing up about it.

* * *

june is going to be packed. PACKED. travels galore, and visitors start back up again. yeeeeees. my GRANTPARENTS (!!! yeeees !!!) may be coming out here in a few weeks. also, reena may be coming as a break from her current 8-10 month ph.d. research near mumbai, india - (man that woman is strong). seeing them would be fantastic. i'm trying not to think about it, in case they are not able to come - i dont want to get too excited in order to prevent the inevitable downer.

* * *

two strange recent realizations:
(i probably shouldn't talk about this stuff, but eh):

1) there are three people that i don't like very much in this whole wide world. only three. and oddly enough, they all live within 10 blocks from me. of all places in the world i could have moved to, and here they are. i mean they're all nice and good people (well, one i'm not so sure about - it's not who you're thinking) - but nonetheless, we just don't "jive."

2)
most recent "quasi" relationship: 1.5 years ago
most recent "real" relationship: nearly 3 years ago
most recent "real" relationship during which i was happy: 4 years ago.

FOUR YEARS AGO?! geez. what is wrong with me. ha -

* * *

i've been spending a lot of time with my housemates lately. who would have thought that the "most conservative-looking inhabitant of san francisco" would have brought all of us together even more. i really heart my housemates. i can tell them that i think i'm magic (ha), laugh at far too morbid jokes and none of us can make sense - and it's a-ok. i'm really lucky. i best be able to make rent in august/september and beyond. the thought of not being able to is close to stifling -

but hey - i can work it out - i just think of all the stuff i've endured, that i've accomplished in the previous three years - and feel much much better, believe in myself again.

* * *

a super huge shout-out to maaaaario for earning a huge grant that will pay for all of his studies in the peruvian amazon. yeeeeees. i am so proud of you, my darling - although the use of the term "proud" makes me sound like your mother. yuck.

* * *

currently reading a collection of essays from "Might" magazine, and you should too.

and i love you a lot.

jen.

travelling extravaganza

hellooooo to everyone.

first of all, i would like to extend a firm handshake and warm congratulations!! to all of you who have recently completed an education-related period of your life. i'm glad to hear that many of you no longer have to worry about certain boring courses, papers with high page number requirements or "calls" or "callings" or "hellholes" or whathaveyou. really. i feel like a part of me is a bit more relaxed for you as well - even if the freedom you feel is a short-lived one. (and i miss you).

kind of a mind-boggling week for me. i've been applying for jobs (solely) via monster.com - which isn't very helpful (or maybe i don't know my TRUE self as well as i think) because according to that RIDICULOUS online service, the only jobs i'm capable of include:

1) joining the sf police department (um, hello i hate them - and not for the normal reasons - ask me about the race related arrests in sf as to other cities in ca sometime. it will be a real neat discussion - or maybe an all too emotional soliloquy de hhhhhennifer)
2) working for a bank (oh i'm sorry. who was i fighting against for the previous year with my credit union work??)
3) CAR. SALESMAN.

don't even get me STARTED on numero three. FOR THE LOVE. what have i done with my life.

* * *

now for an insanely positive direction: future travels galore (both definite and tentative)

first week of june: going to north carolina - awesome. have never been, and hear it's beeeautiful. and soooooo excited bc my friend (lahhh-ooooodah: laura) who i traveled in mexico with (my first outta the country trip) just graduated with her ma in city planning from unc. and i get to seeeeee her.

second week of june: san diego, my hearts. i get to see wiiiill! (this was a direct reference to will). there will be sun, heat, my peer court colleagues (tony and roel) who i adore so i am happy. and the conference could be "hella" interesting. so i'm stoked.

ok this part is sick.

this morning, i met with the guy who started couchsurfing (casey) and we chatted on my (super sweet) roof for a few hours - and he asked me to help him with "the CouchSurfing Collective". basically, he wants to pay me to go to montreal from mid-june to mid-aug to help him with workshops-of-sorts on grant-writing, traveling alone as a woman on couchsurfing, etc. the flight, room, food, etc would be covered 100%. there would be a lot of brainstorming, and far too much communal living - but it sounds fan-tas-tic.

and "his vision" includes coming back to sf for a month or two, and then... then...pending money and "my skills," theres a slight chance i'd be able to go to new zealand for the Eastern Hemisphere CS Collective. but this is an ever so slight chance... though montreal? man, i think it's going to happen.

and i really heart couchsurfing and what its about (as lame as it sounds), so this is doubly exciting. doubly? double-E? electrical engineering?

*stares at computer screen*

i have a lot to think about: loan paybacks, rent while im gone, health insurance, peer court (sweet job)... but i spent the day putting the pieces together, and i think that montreal is actually possible. but we'll see. this is all very tentative. i should grow up, "get real" etc. but man this opportunity is seriously too good to be true.

but now i shall focus on the definites. nc and sd. can't believe it. i get to travel again! ohmygosh i think i'm addicting to traveling to lands ive never seen before. theres something wrong with me.

im sorry im rambling, i just feel so incredibly lucky. i dont understand how this stuff happens to me. im finding myself thanking Something so much, so often. ...but i can't keep floating around like this. can i? why has this little path of mine been oh so very all over the place. what am i doing.

i love you. im sorry for rambling. i hope all is well with you...

pinballing pedestrians

pinballing pedestrians. def: n: the exremely annoying, far too common occurance when pedestrians (usu. paired) somehow occupy the ENTIRE SIDEWALK when walking, preventing people walking behind them in the same direction to pass by. the worst and most freaking annoying type is when ONE PERSON is able to do the same. goooodneeeeeess.

(and san francisco sidewalks are gargantuan. perhaps i should have devised another two terms: one for texas sidewalks, and one for san franciscan. but i don't want to coin another term).

the previous paragraphs exemplify my unusually high levels of bitterness and frankness in my daily communications with others as of late. last week, rudy and steph initially noted how frank, bold and direct i am - appreciating it, wishing they could say the same about themselves. but... i soon thought in my teeny, self-absorbed brain... is this a positive thing? i hold myself back in so many aspects of my work that when i dont have to, i seriously quasi-explode.

another example of alarming amounts of bitterness/boldness includes a supplementary graphic:

this is me laughing my bottom off at THE WORST BAND IN THE MUSICAL HISTORY (or is it music history). lord almighty. 4 years of college station music oppression (minus we're not vampires, etc etc) came flowing out that night. i dont know how many shows ive been to where i had to keep a lid on it because i was representing some sort of music festival or seeking bands with stace. well not that night my friends. during/between each song, i would say (a bit loudly) "this band suuuuuuuuucks" or "jessuuuuuus chrissssstuuus whyarepeopleclapping." it was bad. stacey had to tell me (drunkenly) to stop. we were behind the merch table. i am a bitter (or extremely particular?) old lady.

* * *

stace is out and about a bit more. apparently her honeymoon period only lasted about 2 weeks ohhh sooo. she still is in love and tells me cute freaking stories that make me want to hurl - but we hung out like mad again, per usual. rudy has also made his way back into society - so was able to hang out with his lame ass as well. ho-raaaaay. so i can stop whining about who i'm just oh so lonely and i don't have any friends now. because really im a big baby.

(secretly, i love stacey's stories of love et. al. what a romantic girly girl i am).

i fell asleep at the beach again. 1.65 hours this time round. *stares at computer screen* i look like a flamingo with a huge waistline. i think i may go there with the intention of napping from now on. i sleep WELL out there. the sound of waves crashing is therapy for the soul.

* * *

the last (new) photos we will ever see that capture the Extravaganza de Amanda:

love. true love.


wait, wait. this is love. true love. and i also heart how alex looks like a true-blue cartoon character.


cutest couple IN EXISTENCE.


*magic*


amanda + clayton = cute. (this IS clayton, right? i'm a jerk).


boys just wanna have fun.


why was everyone brawling that night.


no you do diii-iiieehh answer the phone in da middluva conversashuuu.


apparently i am incapable of smiling like regular people do in photos, which is fine. also, is it just me or do i look EXTREMELY FREAKING BITTER IN THIS PHOTO. man, what's my deal.


* * *


this old guy dug the view. and so did i.


lionsgate.


cher and stacey. both awesome and haawwwwwt. why do we have such freaking awesome, haaawwww, strong women as friends.


i wasn't alone in my disdain for shit band. this dude was reading. i took it as proof for my opinion. (but as this photo shows, perhaps there were other ways of expressing my feelings - but dammit! i hate passive agression).

* * *

so that is all for now. love you guys a lot. and wish i could hang out biweekly with you, if not more.

to (attempt to) quell amanda's boredom

the following are bits from one of my favorite entries from my traveling companion last summer. all come from the same day - two/three days ago to the year. they're one of my favorites for the memories triggered - not so much for the writing - hopefully you can endure it.

*
* *
* * *
* * * *

"Current: I'm sitting with my back resting against some old pillow in the main living area of a caravan (trailer). I am curled up under a super warm, think blanket (duvaaaahhh... or something). I made a cup of tea for myself. I unpacked and situated my things. (It will be great to have all of my things in one place for a week at least).

My current situation is lovely: Living in a caravan in the middle of a vineyard in East Sussex. A bit of light, plenty of space, warmth, a hot cup of tea, a bathroom and a new type of solitude. (I'm kind of a migrant farm worker right now, but with a situation better than the norm).

* * *

Beyond the vineyard is a green meadow surrounded by other fields, patches of trees and, as I set out there, the sunset. The grass was growing unhampered by mowing or human contact... wild foxes, birds...I raced across the fields; I jumped from low grass patch to another (like the hot lava game). When I wore myself out, I found a nice spot and began weeping with total and complete joy... "

* * *

On the Beltane Fire Festival, (Edinburgh, Scotland, UK)

"I climbed to the top of Calton Hill with throngs of other people. The procession meandered through the crowd, the stewards of the festival organized by druids and mystics, leading the way with torches. The stewards wore paint from head to toe in most cases, not a lot of clothes, leaves and head regalia made from branches, hoods, you name it. Firedancers - dancing - jesters - people on stilts - all happening at about midnight by the light of the city below and the flames from the torches."

* * * *
* * *
* *
*

as to life here and now, still fairly frustrated with work-related endeavors - but what the heck else is new. spring is apparently the season of new love, for nearly all friends are gallavanting about with new "friends that are not their gender" - which is great and fine - and of course ditching me for making out which is fiiiiiine. surely i did the same during my 6yr-constant-boyfriend streak. ha

so ive been reading more - wandering - and getting back into (basic) astronomy again - buut havent jumped into painting or birding yet. but redeveloping my 89 hobbies will take sweet sweet time.

upon closing this thing, i shall embark on my very first job search - and yes indeed im pretty anxious about it - lessa see how this goes -

oh! and i got a new haircut. if i tuck my hair behind my ears (barely), i look like a toddler. if it don't, i look sultry and sophisticated (it does that thing when it gets really long in the front - a little too hip for me - but eh). i can't afford fancy hairdressers, so i went to one of the haircut places around here in which all signs are in spanish. in my crappy use of the language, i asked the lady to do whatever the hell she wanted. she was pretty excited about that - and did a fine job. she even put some messy stuff in my hair that makes mi pelo look silkier and smoother than i ever thought possible. she's my go-to-hair-cut-lady from now on.

miss you all - hope all is well - jen

ridiculous

from the great blizzard of the oh six:


SCENE ONE: "Isn't This Pretty!! We're in the Mooouuuntains!"

*mother nature cackles*

SCENE TWO: "Um, This Sure is a Lot of Snow"

so lets feast on ridiculous mounds of foods



"... but then we're going to snowboard aaaanyway! cause we're in the moooouuuuntains!"


"where the hell did my shoes go. good god."

*hotels and lifties announce closures on all roads leading off the mountain*

SCENE THREE: "For the Love of Baby Jeebus"
(that is not "flash" in the background. um yes that is snow causing that bluish tone).



blizzards are no fun. pout pout pout.


* * *

and there's more, but from different eras and epochs:

they love each other and hold each other's hands a lot


fairly certain my grin is more as that of a toddler's than john's


grandma leading the way - haha - i love it


Just Say No


how is it that three siblings get along so well. seriously. LUCK-EEE.

with all of my heart, i'm pretty sure this seemingly innocent affair was the sweetest 50th wedding anniversary party of all time. i'm willing to substantiate this claim in greater detail if sought individually.



my cousin, sarah, wholeheartedly agrees. oh man i miss her too. argh.


surely my last name has been posted on this thing somewhere before.



love them. le sigh.


why we've all had to put up with each other so long.

i miss my grandparents a lot

hope all is well and this wasnt photo overload.

miss you kids

jen