explosions

this afternoon i went back to my old apartment to pack up the last of my stuff. loaded my pack, hopped on my bike and rode down 15th to my new place (6 blocks away). as i turned the corner to my new street, i heard an explosion but wrote it off. 3 minutes later, received a call from my co-worker... apparently buildings on the block across the street from my old place were ablaze. i had past it two minutes prior...sweeeeet.

apparently there were 6 gas tank explosions, setting the block ablaze. smoke was seriously billowing from the tops of buildings. my office shook, walls, windows, all of it and was evacuated... two of my co-workers left for their car and just as they reached it, another explosion hit and they could feel the heat and wind rushing over their faces so ran the other way.

it was a 3 alarm (dont know what that means) and i dont think anyone is seriously injured, which is obviously good news. it's probably not that big of a deal but part of this city definitely freaked out for a bit.

map outlining events:


havent heard from old housemates, which makes me nervous. but i'm sure all is well.

miss you kids, and wish to pete that one or 8 of you were here to see some of this with me. i am lame.

bye bye

good morning, my beautiful living space

hello to all:

i was attempting to hold out on the PRAISE BE, I HAVE A NEW PLACE post, but for pete's sake i'm over-the-top excited. cant wait cant wait.

why my new room kicks my last space in the pants:
1. 3 HUGE windows (i.e. i don't wake up to darkness, but to blue skies and orange light glimmering on san francisco buildings).
2. i can do a full cartwheel inside of it, with ample space to fall over at the end.
3. no creepo (this one's big: it's mentally exhausting to come home everyday and wonder if i strange man will stare at you btw 12 -72minutes that evening).
4. safer neighborhood. NEW neighborhood. new stuff to explore.
5. no violence and crack dealing on the streets i walk home on. *exhales*
6. ok here's the kicker. roof-top access... found this out last night... i spent the entire evening on my roof grinning like mad. i can see the bay bridge, capitol building, downtown sector, twin peaks... it's absolutely insane.

i will be spending the evening on my roof listening to the scary sounds people make down below. halloween parties can kiss it.

and a big shout-out to my dad. it was a conversation with you that finally prompted me to peace out of my old place... thank you for being so much wiser, realistic and straight-forward than i am. i refuse to gush out more emotion right now. miss you and calling soon. ugh.

i am one lucky piece of work.

and to all again: man oh man, come visit. i want you to see this mess with me. now is the time. ok, hard core work during the next 5 days.

hugs, jen.

granola is also becoming an issue

why is beck's voice perfect in every way?

and why am i addicted to the following vegetables:
spinach, asparagus, lentils and broccoli. seriously. the amount that i feast on them is approaching the level of 'obnoxious.' is this the final level before reaching adulthood? (e.g. 'likes vegetables: check'). i abhored those monsters when i was tinier. when did this transition happen? if 'adult' means eating mass amounts of veg and dancing (it's getting worse) along the streets while listening to 'midnight vultures,' then i'm you're lady.

weekend is chaotic due to said veg eating, moving (praise BE), writing, potential 'scary campout' and costume construction.

costume #1: flight attendant circa 1950s (yesterday).
costume #2: death princess (future).

the death princess one is really just hilarious, because by no means am i 'goth' nor strive to be, but the whole thing 'goth' thing kinda scares me a bit so i have decided to face my fears. let's see if it happens though.

photos soon, and per-HAPS video of the splendid room that i am leaving in the dust when i peace outta this joint tomorrow af-tah-NOON. but by no means are you getting a picture of creep-o.

miss youz.

you've been out ridin' fences

if and when i ever get back to that beautiful state of texas, i am going to throw myself back into the cowboy culture like you wouldn't believe. i'm such a dork - i just finished watching a pbs special about the nicest cowboy ever called 'the last cowboy' (after watching approximately 17 minutes of a psychologically debilitating and boring (sorry, pudge) game of baseball). my WORD i miss the sarcasm, harshness and craziness of all of that mess. i want to go to a freaking rodeo, listen to george strait (baby blue - paul i miss you), ignore any and all political/racial madness that comes out of peoples' mouths, revel in the accents, hang out in fields, smile my face off and dance in that formalized, gleeful line-dance way at a kicker bar. i am aaaall over it.

that lifestyle is rare RARE, a cultural amenity of sorts, and i am fortunate enough to be related to 89% of that population in texas. how can a girl be so lucky?

mind you, this will only take up 0.0003 percent of my lifestyle and i shall tire of it within 8 minutes, but nonetheless it must be implemented.

why do i post these stupid longings for places far away whenever they enter my head?

carry on.

i walk with my shadow in front of me

don't touch me! don't, look, i'm alright. don't touch me!

a lovely previous 36 hours. i shall use the bold option for assistance in viewing.

i have a friend who is a girl
praise be, i have met someone who is not insane, and is awesome and is a straight female. her name is stacy, met her in a bar, we exchaaanged numbeers (which is wiiierd, yes i know) and hung out last night. freaking great. has lived in australia for the previous 9 years, has a masters in landscape arch. and is currently in the throes of learning entertainment law on her own so she can start a record label. i told her of my law school pals, and how you would provide legal services for free.

ran into the robster
and holy shit it was ridiculous. it's so interesting/ bizarre/ bittersweet that the same dude who turned jen into a crazy person for a solid 6 months of her life, well, doesn't conjur a damn thing now. the situation was absolutely ludicrous...hahah... (he came and sat with stacy and me (what are you doing) and shook my hand at the end of it (what) and asked if he could call me?! my response was 'uh, right on, big guy.' whoops. why am i so mean?). so anyway, im sure ill run into him again, and when/if i do, whatever.

oh. and he works on getting funding for the reconstruction of the oakland bay bridge... and there's no way it's going to get paid for... which is, of course, awesome.

bless this city
for allowing me to walk across the street while rocking out to ipod moosic, dancing and/or singing aloud in my raspy, raspy voice.

slowly but surely
the kids i work with are trusting/being cool with me. i work in an office all week, but saturdays are FAN-tastical because i get to hang out with a fine collection of tiny people. today was no exception. i think they are actually starting to like me now - we watch a lot of college football, talk about the astros and how awesome they are, how banks and the wto suck, work on homework and make globes out of construction paper while calling each other names. they are soooo lovely. i want you to meet them.

phone-time
was able to talk with my heart for a bit and i heart her.

and then i napped and did yoga, and now i am about to spend my saturday night writing grants. yes, yes oh yay.

into the arms of that freaking white-shirted man,
jen.

the yes men

ok it gets dark really early here.

going to feast on pakistani food like you wouldn't believe.

check out this website because it is awesome: http://theyesmen.org/

working tomorrow. wandering on sunday. later.

PG-13

this past week, two friends of my housemates were visiting from nyc. one a medical/phd student at cornell studying in manhatten (conner), the other 'an artist' living in brooklyn (mat). so in conversation with 'the artist,' i asked what he did to survive that place, his job, etc. oh... he just paints and draws. are you kidding me? i have met someone from new york who just has to paint in order to get by. it actually exists.

his stuff is GOOD. the guy in the drawing below is the doctor-friend, conner, who was also visiting. i can't emphasize how strikingly similar the drawing is to the that dude. it's insane. (conner is the subject of a number of his other pieces as well)...



here's his website: http://mathewcerletty.com/

i warn you (i.e. family), there's a bit of nudity, creepy and bizarre in there. so don't enter if you're slightly faint of heart. but it's totally worth the clicks and perusal.

he's been discussed in the freaking new yorker and art forum, for pete's sake. forget about it.

*'the twins before the accident' is exactly what mat looks like
*my living room is depicted in 'last chance dance,' when he lived in our apt

i have added more san francisco photos to my collection. *see link to the right*

will is a nice boy and i hope all of you are enjoying the long-awaited return of diane y rupa. drink a beverage for me.

everyone feel reeeeeal sorry for me.

what up. welcome to the 'bleh' entry.

i hate to admit it, but even though i'm in a freaking dazzling city with crazy ass streets + citizens i can definitely grow quite bored sometimes. i get outta work at around 5, MUST nap afterward and its already getting dark out by the time i wake up. dark streets shall never hold me back completely, but they definitely hinder my aimless wanderings through strange, new neighborhoods. looking forward the Room o' Spaciousness so i can freaking sprawl/hang out without feeling the walls are closing in on me.

and i'm definitely lonely. yes, i admit it. *raises hand* but what an ideal time for another dive into self-discovery. yes? YES.

been sick since sunday. so frustrating. quite tired of it.

don't ever curse at anyone. it feels like shit when it happens to you.

insomnia is starting to kick in for the first time since high school. i definitely sleep 'fitfully.' meaning i wake up at 3 am, then 5 am, stare at the ceiling or write like crazy for a couple of hours and then drift back into slumber.

i realized yesterday that i have been here for 2 1/2 months, not the 3 1/2 that i had thought. my body and brain relentlessly tell me that i've been here for 4.6 years.

one of my initial impressions of this city soon after i arrived here was that this place included a 'dating friendly' population, meaning that people could just freaking hang out or go on a 'date' and it was 'totally cool.' nothing would become 'dramatic.' man oh man, was i in-cor-RECT. haha... i swear man, next to every boy in this town (at least the seemingly sane/bright ones) are actually completely insane. no more intensity please. stay away from me, please. you. are you intense and going to freak out? stay away please.

job is 'frustrating' and i feel i am accomplishing very 'little.' but perhaps this is because i am 'bored.'

i miss my dad and dog and family and want to lounge on my living room sofa in ese for 7.8 hours. i love my sister a LOT. and i would love to romp around ut's campus with my bro bro.

bleh. i'm such a whiner. next.

phone my family. tell 'em i'm lost on the sidewalk.

a photo journal revealing bits of my life over the previous few months:

at the folsom street fair: hahah... zoom in on this woman's face. and diane: she was singing your blogging line "you need cooooooooolin":


went to a park near the berkeley shore and found this guy practicing with some spinning, flag business on a bit of a cliff overlooking the bay. super, super cool:


in the same park - a piece amidst a collection of impromptu art constructed from trash, old pieces of wood, wire, you name it:


jennifer (l) and keisha (r): two of the kids i work with. awesome. that girl jennifer is freaking hilarious:


where i do the majority of my shopping. do i lie? helllz no. sweet unused shoes for $2, books for $1... and this is every weekend. yeeeees:


bravery/vanity/inspiration from shelley. didnt realize the map was in the background until after i took it. how poignant. *strokes chin* and i'm certain mom is going to buy a brush and send it to me upon viewing this photo.


there you have it. more later. and thank you to all of you. you are wonderful and i miss you yes.

pandemonium to the max

this is how 'turning in a proposal' is defined, esp if you a last-minute type like my boss and i are.

*you wake up at 6 am, swearing you're going to get some work done. you lounge in your bed while listening to arcade fire until 7:30 am instead.

*but the music pumps you up, so you go running until 9 am.

*walk to a cafe, but decide it sucks for many lame reasons and move onto another.

*bust ass for 3 hours. back hurts from sitting in front of computer.

*talk to nice boy who tells you look 'intense.'

*feast on cddhuussoawwwoont and hot chocolate. a hearty lunch.

*bust ass for an hour.

*tell everyone on your im list to download 'fit but you know it' by the streets. imagine their laughter, and wonder if they'll appreciate it even a quarter as much as you do.

*lounge for an hour.

*3:10 pm: receive attachments from boss asking you to add/subtract shit throughout discussed document.

*walk back to office, and get into crazy 'dont talk to me/ hair in shambles' mode for 1.3 hours.

*jog 20 blocks in your quasi-office attire to turn the damn 15 page document in on time.

POINT: i deserve accolades from each of you, because i just turned in a document comparable to a grad level final exam paper and have to do it 9 more times before november.

i am going to hang out this weekend like you wouldn't believe.

you're just sick

for those who assumed, that by *met* i meant something that i didn't - you're just gross. *met* referred to the fact that i talked with the guy for about an hour while over there, but got to know his friends a bit better. geez.

i'm magically transforming into one of those folks inside coffee shops who use laptops. eeeeeh. won't last long though, to be sure.

fantastic conversation with my mother last sunday:
mammy: i just got out of the neil diamond concert! *laughing*
jen: mooom, did you stare at neil's tight little bottom all night. *in a motherly way*
mammy: jennie! nooooooo!

aaaaahhhah... don't get mad please.

wow. i'm a tremendous dork. i swear my life isnt as insane and 'interesting' (ugh) as this silly blog makes it sound. i just live in a cave inside of a hood, and bust outta there a lot via city exploration, staying away from jerks and the yoga/dance/run combo that i've figured out for myself. and miss people a lot.

visit, please. and take care out there.

naps are my world, my everything.

i've been in super crazy over the top get your ass to it mode all freaking week. summary:

1. have a huge proposal due this week, and 9 more due by november one. yeeeees. *slowly shakes fist in air*

2. a friend that i *met* in scotland via friends and couchsurfing stayed with me for a few days. just spent the past 5 months hitchhiking from san francisco to ny and back. left this morning on his return flight. he came here with 200 bucks and worked his way through. so great to talk with him. it made me remember a lot about the mentality one has to take on when traveling solo like that. we definitely had a lot to talk about - traded stories for the majority of the previous two days. and he made me remember that scotland kind of feels like my second home. (the first is texas please). he's the only person i've met who's actually traversed this gigantic country in one go. i was impressed/intrigued.

3. recognized that i am not willing to deal with negativity or drama in any form. period. not with friends, not with lovaahhs. i cannot take people being competitive, mean or immature. next. a big fat next. i have too many wonderful people in my life (i.e. yous, et al) and just don't need that other mess.

4. had to initiate the good old fashioned 'let's just be friends' conversation this weekend. uuugggggh. for pete's sake, i just want to lounge, watch films, paint, read and watch oprah with daddy.

5. d. arnaout shall never be replaced in my heart or soul. feel free to throw up now.

6. mare has returned and her life shall be a lovely one in san francisco.

7. praise be, i found a new apartment. yes yes yes. we're talking spaciousness to the max and super dorky (i.e. lovely) housemates. move in on november one and i'm stumbling over myself with excitement. address remains the same until i give you the sign.

8. my brother and sister are wonderful. WONDERFUL.

miss family a heck of a lot. each of you, all of you. *sigh*

this place will be rocked

certainly this is on the forefront of many individuals' brains, but the number of crazy earth rumblings and moments of force in the previous year and a half is mind-boggling. not sure what's going on. recognize that it's a tiny, insignificant bit of earth history but my word, the geography of the earth has been altered dramatically again and again. check out satellite photos. the coastal regions of southern u.s. and indonesia. the mountains of guatemala and the quakes of pakistan. is something angry? probably not, but the physical world is changing a bit quickly.

most people here assume that a major 'change' will occur here within the next year. i assume it will be in the next 5. what will happen to the bay area? two huge bridges that connect san francisco with major cities will surely collapse (at least one of them will). fires will blaze through san francisco. (and no, our fire hydrants do not connect with the state/federal types - a huge concern for residents here). low-lying areas will flood, perhaps for good. sacramento may be outta here. central california may not exist anymore either. new orleans part two.

i've been reading up on earthquake safety. considering taking a class on it. considering investing in renters insurance of some sort. mapping out escape plans from my apt, my work, from restaurants in my head - each time i enter a new place. not worrying too much about it, just taking precautions. wondering if the damage people estimate is accurate - but have new orleans and the like to look to as proof of warnings' accuracy.

on another note: i so very much wish so many of you could see this place with me. that we could smile at old men discussing god knows what, gawk at architectural intricacies and appreciate every bit of this place and the people here.

who thinks i'm dorky? *looks around the room* it's all of you out there, to be sure. photos as soon as i can figure out the wiring and which buttons to press.

categorize 'unique'

san francisco california, the people in it, are so very similar to the gamet you will find in every other city that i have visited/lived. it's a city, with perks and downfalls and beauty. each of those words encompasses everything. (still worth visiting, so get over here).

the people are not so much hipper, independent or resilient. they're all just struggling with things (often times, their narcissistic stupid stupid mess).

i encompass one of many definitions of eccentric, and miss so many of you so very much

please go check out orion's belt. it's visible at 2 am now. that's comfort.

hearts, jen.

make it feel like it does in the start

i've been listening to a ton of new order lately. the song that i keep going tback to is 'someone like you.' sure it's simple, but it results in my dancing like a seductive molly ringwald all over the 2 square feet allowed to me in my room.

my breakdancing attempts are coming along nicely. i dont like 'working out' withuot a goal that has to do with some activity, and subsequently working on my upper arms/shoulders so i can flip myself and shit. my next goal is a handstand.... i'm almost there. but my word to be able to do a handstand and bounce around. ooooohhhh..

check out mario's madonna recommendations. they're right on. brilliant. yes.

also been running more than i have since i ran track at the age of 15 and a half. running is usually insanely boring to me - but not here. it doesnt matter where i run - there are colorful, wierd buildings or parks or murals or views to keep me going. and i love coming back and feeling my face turn a remarkable reddish hue within 15 seconds of my entrance into my apartment.

i think workingin a building all day long is resulting in large amounts of pent up energy. i swear i get home from work and all i want to do is run like a little kid, paint like pollock or dance like ms. ringwald.

later dyudes.

extreeeeme, duuuude.

why. why do i constantly throw myself into the most extreme situations on the planet.

saturday, my creep-o housemate broke my bathtub. we have one of those tubs with the claws on the bottom, and two of them popped off when he was standing inside of it. christ. subsequently, the piping has broke and my bathroom is in shambles. i now have to ride the train 15 minutes into oakland or berkeley everyday to bathe myself.

at work today, i received a w2 form indirectly informing me that the jerk who hired me (who left for spain unannounced and has subsequently next to ruined the non-profit) spent the weekend when he was supposed to go to a conference in freaking LAKE TAHOE GAMBLING. he unwittingly used his work address when he gave teh casino his information. (the w2 was to inform him of his $4,000 win).

i assure you i am not complaining. i am only wondering why wierd stuff keeps following me around, why i'm constantly challenged when i know i can handle it so would just rather hang the hell out.

on an up note: you can see orion's belt at about 3:30 am (your time too). check it out. it's one of the most obvious of constellations, and therefore one of my faves. as winter approaches, you'll be able to see it earlier and earlier. look for sirius and betelgeuse. they're around there too and awesome.

i'm so glad that i can still see stars out here. one of my biggest fears when heading out here was that i wouldnt be able to see them due to the big city lights. sure they're not 'texas stars' but man oh man they're the same ones that pass over you every night as well. this makes me happy.

mom - please oh please send those astronomy and bird books my way. love love. jen.