the all caps "tool" probably isn't helping my point, really

well. hello.

man oh man has the previous month ever-so-slapped me straight onto my left knee. and right cheek.

shall i bulletpoint? why yes indeed i shall:

crap i can't remember how.

numerical time:

1) dad is sick. he goes tomorrow am to find out what the next stage of treatment is. (diane: i am totally down with you 20-questioning him about his childhood, etc).

2) rudy. rudy.

3) the job situation is growing dire AGAIN. i've been scheduled two shifts/week for the previous month due to "miscommunication." the owner-man found out and definitely wasn't happy about that, so this week i have a few more shifts which is AWESOME - but surely not enough. not enough indeed. job search continues full throttle once more tomorrow in the am.

4) additional job situation bit: on friday, i went to the museum of craft and folk art for an interview as an office manager / curator / volunteer coordinator. sweeeeet. so the interview seems to go really well and THEN GET THIS AND WHEN I SAY "GET THIS" I MEAN PLEASE DECIPHER WHAT IT MEANS BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND THEN GET BACK TO ME ABOUT IT. the executive director (the intelligent and cool lady leading the interview, stanford professor, etc) says, "you're super smart, your cover letter was fantastic and you're completely experienced for this job. but i think you will grow restless and leave after a few months." AND THEN I STUTTER A MEASLY REPLY. i. stutter. i mean sure i rambled off a list of true and valid reasons why i would NOT walk away (i mean i CAN'T walk away from any jobs anymore - though this is not something i listed). but lord almighty she didn't seem convinced. AND THEN HERE IS THE KICKER PLEASE DECIPHER. at the end of the interview, she firmly shakes my hand and says, "YOU'RE REALLY GOING PLACES." oh my god what does that MEAN. i wanted to say, "well them please let me get to that place by starting here." but i didnt. i just say "thank you? question mark face?" and tripped over the door on the way out.

they're supposed to call this week with news about if i got the job. ugh.

5) i found out last week that i needed an "emergency root canal" which will cost me more money than i have ever, EVER had saved. i also may need - oh you know - gum surgery and i definitely have a couple of cavities. we're talking multiple g's. (not a couple, not a few). i

BUT i do get to chew food again on thursday. yeeeeeees.

* *

it's been so very nuts for me, i have no idea how to prioritize anything. at least i didn't yesterday - so i closed up job-search-arama-shop and hightailed it to the hardly strictly bluegrass festival and then went to sleep at 10pm.

tomorrow is a New Day though and it will begin for me at 6:30am. for then i shall awake, shower my filthy filthy self and traipse over to a cafe for the preparation of 10 resumes, 10 cover letters and 7 additional questions that i am going to complete before friday 12noon. sounds super sweet, yes?

* * *

this posting came across harshly. yes, i know. i am feeling sorry for myself. yes, i know. but haven't talked with you about all this in a while. and i just miss you a lot. more positivity very soon. there's definitely plenty of that as well. but i decided to start with the bleeghghhhgh.

oh man i miss you ok bye.

jen