and it's not even noon yet.

wassup for shizzle and things of that nature -

i woke up this morning at 6:30 and watched the sun rise again. it's a new thing for me and i'm really liking it a lot. was able to clean my room, talk to diane for a stupid amount of time (yyeeeeyyyyyeeees) and make a hearty breakfast. among other things:

i had my very doorbell ring from a jehovah's witness this morning! they actually exist!!

an hour later, my (increasingly dear) friend heather and her housemate shanon (who is The Voice of TIVO) showed up at my door in fairy costumes - corsets, tutus and glitter included. they asked if i could play a small bit in a film they were making, to which i obliged. my role included coming out of a bookstore across the street from my house - where i ended up chatting with the store owner and scoring a free, FANTASTIC, huge bookshelf.

at then it was 11:22am.

i also looked at another flat today, and lemme tell you - finding an apartment in this freaking city is tiring and moderately debilitating.

* * *

and now onto shelley's favorite topic: BOYS!!

ugh. i am cutting myself off from boys of all shapes and sizes and levels of emotional stability for a good while. i feel like i have been the source of one boy crying and two having panic attacks, and i'm tired. these guys are super awesome (honestly), really strong, smart, cute - BLEEGGH - but just damn tiring. why am i constantly the "man" in every relationship. why am i the one doing all the taking care of. really, why am i doing this to myself.

so i'm done for a while. phone is off, and i am veering away from all chaos. just. not. worth it.

* * *

i miss you guys a lot. you guys seem to be going through a heck of a lot right now: finals, nights in dark hospitals, icy blizzards, research that is - well - difficult to get off the ground, far away places, introspection and listening to smooth jazz. really, you are all strong as hell and i feel lucky, EXTREMELY LUCKY, to have you in my life.

the day is young,

jen