i'm so determined

hello my tiny babies -

and again, the week since my previous posting has been filled to the brim with situations that beg the question: How is this happening? Is it this city, like people around here say? and finally: Why aren't I asking more productive questions?

Matt Pond, PA
i went out there with steph and rudy. i was really freaking tired upon arrival, so asked the opening band (kevin devine) if i could sleep behind the merch table, to which he graciously obliged. sweet.

rudy, steph and i freaking hugged each other through the first two songs (new hampshire and closest - look out). i really really love matt pond pa and its nice that those two do as well. at one point, matt pond asks how "we" (the crowd) are doing - and i say, fairly loudly, "we're really happy right now." so he picks me out of the crowd, asking me why. and i got really nervous and could only come out with "i just really love you guys." his face turned bright red (he got shy!!) and then said that i made him feel wierd. STORY OF MY LIFE. eh - but i got to talk with him a bit afterward and it is official: i have my first band-guy crush in 4.3 years.


rudy's birthday
that fool rented a freaking uhaul and drove all of us around the city for four hours on wednesday night. inside the back of it were soccer balls, balloons, a futon, a couch, a couple of flashlights and 6 folks causing mischief. so freaking fun. we drove around nearly the entire night, each driver (one of us, i not included) taking us to another part of the city - then *rumble*rumble*whoosh* - the back of the uhaul opens up, and out we go to hang out in a new part of the city. yeeeees.


thanksgiving
the quintessential feast was had at brolin and rudy's. there were a lot of friends, and i was able to talk with a lot of my family - which i hadnt done in a while - i was really happy. and slept pretty much 14 of the 16 waking hours that day. awesome.


the dark kabaret
was awwwwwesome. jugglers. yo-yo masters. magicians. fancy 20s style clothes. dark ragtime music. bubble performers. the lead singer from the animals. fancy times with fancy sf people. words do it no justice. it was one of the greatest shows i have ever attended.


finally, the present
woke up this morning at 6:30am and watched the sun rise
still constantly listening to matt pond, pa
about to go grocery shopping
feeling the need to think about the future more than the present - and struggling with how to do it
still have a tiny crush on a stupid boy and it still hurts sometimes
looking for a new flat, with minimal success
still learning about physics
i want to learn how to play an instrument and am open to suggestions
and again, don't know what i want to do with my life, and again, am open to suggestions - ha
the sun goes down before 5pm here now and it's a little debilitating
it's really pretty here this morning - i hope it is for you too

jen