a little girl's journal entry

(minus the 'i love boys why don't they love me waaaaahh part).

realization: i have dealt with all problems in the previous 3 years by traveling/ leaving the city/ quitting my job. yeeeeeesss. apparently i am unequipped to deal with situations unless i am able to escape from them via the aforementioned means.

but times have changed. i am settled somewhere, feel a bit stuck, and a bit frustrated w myself for all the things i've talked about doing in the previous 6 months but haven't done because i am lazy and/or exhausted and/or hanging out. and i can't move or travel to escape because i am living here now and i am broke.

tonight i am trapped with an 89 year old lovely golden retriever in my room. i'm dog-sitting for a friend. this dog who is so old she cannot walk longer than 3 blocks without passing out and refuses to be alone for longer than 3 minutes. and who smells god awful. but she's cute, yes. though incredibly smelly, yes. they don't mix.

really feel like i need some focus. i wish i had 'skills.' really feeling like a chump, though unsure what 'chump' means. and really missing town hall of all things recently. i miss the freaking proximal comradery, and the beautiful kids affiliated. i miss 'the college experiencia' for the very first time eva.

when did this turn into a freaking journal? geez. why do we all love talking about ourselves so much?

miss you guys a lot. blah blah. *exhales*

what do i want to be when i grow up? no! no. don't tell me.